Tag Archives: overeacting

Pic poke of the day

Pic poke of the day

Fear mongering… for kids

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Reading in the bathroom?! You disgust me Madame!

“Ewww, you brought that book into the bathroom? Gross!! How could you do that? Hey everybody!! Let’s make a big deal and publically berate our fellow man for reading in the bathroom!”

What’s the big deal?

Let me breakdown the procedure for you… and I’ll try to be tactful.

You enter the bathroom and plunk your rear down after a hard day of dealing with insatiable customers and the gruelling experience of transit. You find it’s the perfect moment to see what happened in the world today, if Peter escaped the clutches of the Chameleon, or what new man Jennifer Anniston is considering having a baby with this week. You finish your, “digestive journey into mystery.” You place the book down onto the nearest surface. You reach for the bathroom tissue, or if you’re feeling particularly evil, proceed to use your friends ‘fancy’ Kleenex (It’s the Rolls Royce for your posterior).

Then you WASH YOUR HANDS AND PICK THE BOOK BACK UP!! At NO point does the reading material come into contact with human feces! So what are you worried about? Bathroom vapours? The person not washing their hands? The real question should be, why am I friends with someone who doesn’t wash their hands, and then comes back into the living room and puts their fingers into the chip bowl? For starters, people who don’t wash probably don’t read as well! (Other than the instructions on the conditioner bottle). Trust us; we don’t want to contaminate your reading material anymore than you do! We’re not sitting there thinking, “Hey! So and so spent their hard-earned cash to stock the bathroom with this library of current events. I’m really enjoying this magazine… it’s too bad I have to wipe my ass with it!

Relax people! The only thing happening in there is reading. We’re trying to increase our brain ability in order to have a tolerable conversation with you. So let’s take the time to be understanding and tolerant towards our washroom readers (and severely harsher to the ‘non-washers,’ you know who you are sicko), and not make a spectacle out of them when they come back out into the crowded party.

To be fair it was their wedding album…

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